1
00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:10,619
Hello, I'm Gene Sing.
I have a reservation.

2
00:00:10,749 --> 00:00:13,013
Wonderful. I see we have
you here for one night.

3
00:00:13,143 --> 00:00:15,319
- Yes.
- So, where are you guys coming from?

4
00:00:15,450 --> 00:00:16,929
Guys?

5
00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:18,583
Uh, you can see me?

6
00:00:18,714 --> 00:00:21,391
I just mean, uh, you and your luggage,

7
00:00:21,392 --> 00:00:23,045
because here at Woodstone Mansion,

8
00:00:23,046 --> 00:00:25,590
we treat your bags like people.

9
00:00:25,721 --> 00:00:27,505
Oh, that's nice, I guess.

10
00:00:27,636 --> 00:00:30,073
Oh, my. Ooh-wee!

11
00:00:30,204 --> 00:00:31,292
Who's this tall drink of water?

12
00:00:31,422 --> 00:00:33,294
- Ma'am.
- [ALL EXCLAIM]

13
00:00:33,424 --> 00:00:34,947
Biscuits and gravy, you're a ghost.

14
00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:36,819
Oh, my God. How's my hat?

15
00:00:36,949 --> 00:00:38,908
- Still small and ugly.
- Shut up, Thor.

16
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,754
I'm sorry, uh, this lady can see us?

17
00:00:41,845 --> 00:00:42,933
Yeah, yeah, she fell down the stairs

18
00:00:43,064 --> 00:00:44,587
and hit her head and
now she can see ghosts.

19
00:00:44,717 --> 00:00:46,807
She is freak, but has
good attitude about it.

20
00:00:46,937 --> 00:00:48,156
How is it we've never seen you before?

21
00:00:48,286 --> 00:00:49,722
Did you just expire on the property?

22
00:00:49,853 --> 00:00:52,682
I am a poltergeist.

23
00:00:52,813 --> 00:00:55,337
Which is a ghost attached to
a person instead of a place.

24
00:00:55,467 --> 00:00:56,468
- Well, now.
- You're kidding me.

25
00:00:56,599 --> 00:00:58,557
Basically, wherever Gene goes, I go.

26
00:00:58,688 --> 00:01:00,733
- Who's Gene?
- Sam, we're gonna need a minute,

27
00:01:00,864 --> 00:01:02,170
if you could just stall for a bit.

28
00:01:02,300 --> 00:01:04,389
The credit card machine
looks like it didn't work,

29
00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:05,869
so I will just, um,

30
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,654
need you to fill out
this form. [CHUCKLES]

31
00:01:08,785 --> 00:01:10,787
So, I'm Alberta Haynes. Jazz singer.

32
00:01:10,918 --> 00:01:14,573
Murder victim. I enjoy
long moonlit strolls,

33
00:01:14,704 --> 00:01:16,271
right up to the
boundary of the property.

34
00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,926
Pleasure to meet you.
The name's Saul Henry.

35
00:01:19,055 --> 00:01:21,711
The Saul Henry who used to
play for the Negro Leagues?

36
00:01:21,842 --> 00:01:24,333
I remember reading
about you in the papers.

37
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:27,281
Y'all, he played shortstop for
the Delaware Horseshoe Crabs.

38
00:01:27,412 --> 00:01:29,066
Until one day,

39
00:01:29,197 --> 00:01:31,416
we were up against
the Connecticut Quahogs

40
00:01:31,547 --> 00:01:33,897
and I was hit in the head by a yakker.

41
00:01:34,028 --> 00:01:35,203
- [GASPS]
- And it was lights out!

42
00:01:35,333 --> 00:01:37,248
- Oh!
- For ol' Saul Henry.

43
00:01:37,379 --> 00:01:38,423
Here you go.

44
00:01:38,554 --> 00:01:39,685
Samantha, keep stalling.

45
00:01:39,816 --> 00:01:44,081
Oh, we also ask our
customers to fill out

46
00:01:44,212 --> 00:01:45,387
one of these comment cards. [CHUCKLES]

47
00:01:45,517 --> 00:01:47,302
Before my stay?

48
00:01:47,432 --> 00:01:49,870
Yeah, 'cause then we have
a baseline to compare it to

49
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:51,959
when you fill the other one
out at the end of your stay.

50
00:01:53,263 --> 00:01:55,440
So, what's it like being
attached to a person?

51
00:01:55,571 --> 00:01:56,745
Oh, it's not bad.

52
00:01:56,876 --> 00:01:59,880
You see, Gene here's a dentist
who likes to travel the world

53
00:01:59,890 --> 00:02:02,023
and take beautiful photographs.

54
00:02:02,153 --> 00:02:04,677
But of all the exotic
locales I've been to,

55
00:02:04,808 --> 00:02:06,505
why, you're the most breathtaking sight

56
00:02:06,636 --> 00:02:09,247
- I've ever seen.
- [GIGGLES]

57
00:02:09,378 --> 00:02:11,554
Wow, are we in Nebraska?
'Cause that was corny.

58
00:02:11,684 --> 00:02:13,382
Just know when you're beat, Peter.

59
00:02:13,512 --> 00:02:14,862
Uh, here's your key.

60
00:02:14,992 --> 00:02:16,777
But before you leave, I would love

61
00:02:16,907 --> 00:02:18,082
to just talk to you a little bit

62
00:02:18,213 --> 00:02:19,214
about the woodwork here in the lobby.

63
00:02:19,344 --> 00:02:20,344
You know what? I'm good.

64
00:02:20,376 --> 00:02:21,389
- Thanks.
- And we're off.

65
00:02:21,390 --> 00:02:22,390
Oh!

66
00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:23,696
[CHUCKLING] Well, uh,

67
00:02:23,827 --> 00:02:25,219
enjoy your visit.

68
00:02:25,350 --> 00:02:26,656
You too. Damn it. Why did I say that?

69
00:02:26,787 --> 00:02:28,310
Uh... come up to my room

70
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,529
and smell a glass of wine later.

71
00:02:30,660 --> 00:02:32,923
Is very nice invitation,
Thor think about it.

72
00:02:33,054 --> 00:02:34,969
Shut up. I'll be there.

73
00:02:35,099 --> 00:02:36,099
[GIGGLING]

74
00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:39,930
? ?

75
00:02:43,025 --> 00:02:46,154
So, with your nuptials fast approaching,

76
00:02:46,284 --> 00:02:47,895
we've got to start
nailing down some details.

77
00:02:48,025 --> 00:02:49,897
We've got so much to
tell Samantha to do.

78
00:02:50,027 --> 00:02:51,724
Well, I was actually
thinking it might be fun

79
00:02:51,855 --> 00:02:53,378
to have a theme for the wedding.

80
00:02:53,509 --> 00:02:55,424
Ooh, a theme could be fun.

81
00:02:55,554 --> 00:02:57,513
Yes, yes, perhaps something
like "enchanted garden"

82
00:02:57,643 --> 00:02:59,384
or "springtime in Paris"?

83
00:02:59,515 --> 00:03:02,344
Mm. Actually, I was thinking...

84
00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:03,911
"dinosaurs."

85
00:03:04,041 --> 00:03:05,913
- Dinosaurs?
- I... I mean, unless it's overdone.

86
00:03:06,043 --> 00:03:07,653
I mean, I will admit
that I'm not up to date

87
00:03:07,784 --> 00:03:08,959
on the latest wedding trends.

88
00:03:09,090 --> 00:03:12,136
Isaac, I love that
you have such passions,

89
00:03:12,267 --> 00:03:14,356
but this new dinosaur fixation...

90
00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:16,575
it's really just your hobby.

91
00:03:16,706 --> 00:03:18,621
And the wedding, well,

92
00:03:18,751 --> 00:03:20,710
it really should be about both of us.

93
00:03:20,841 --> 00:03:23,365
As a wedding planner, it is
my job to remain impartial.

94
00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:24,801
However, this idea is so terrible,

95
00:03:24,932 --> 00:03:26,368
I really must side with Nigel.

96
00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:27,891
Well, we will be walking down the aisle

97
00:03:28,022 --> 00:03:31,112
to the Jurassic Park theme,
and that is nonnegotiable.

98
00:03:31,242 --> 00:03:32,808
How's the planning
going? I can't tell you

99
00:03:32,940 --> 00:03:34,028
how excited I am to attend this wedding.

100
00:03:34,158 --> 00:03:35,507
I already know exactly
what I'm gonna wear.

101
00:03:35,638 --> 00:03:36,900
[CHUCKLES]

102
00:03:37,031 --> 00:03:38,031
You've already made that joke, Peter.

103
00:03:38,075 --> 00:03:39,947
Comedy gets better with repetition.

104
00:03:40,077 --> 00:03:43,472
NIGEL: Next up on the
agenda: our stag do's.

105
00:03:43,602 --> 00:03:45,473
I believe you call
them bachelor parties.

106
00:03:45,474 --> 00:03:46,692
Mine is tonight.

107
00:03:46,823 --> 00:03:48,825
I'm here if you need any guidance.

108
00:03:48,956 --> 00:03:50,131
I know we can't get drunk

109
00:03:50,261 --> 00:03:52,524
or drive around Atlantic
City in a stretch Escalade,

110
00:03:52,655 --> 00:03:54,483
but we can still party. Come on!

111
00:03:54,613 --> 00:03:57,094
I went to a travel agent
convention in Atlantic City.

112
00:03:57,225 --> 00:03:58,574
The battle for room
upgrades was intense,

113
00:03:58,704 --> 00:03:59,749
let me tell you. [CHUCKLES]

114
00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:01,620
NIGEL: Don't you worry, Trevor.

115
00:04:01,751 --> 00:04:02,926
We Brits know how to have fun.

116
00:04:03,057 --> 00:04:06,277
Which is why for my party, we
shall celebrate with toasts,

117
00:04:06,408 --> 00:04:08,976
roasts, and if things get really wild,

118
00:04:09,106 --> 00:04:11,368
an off-color limerick.

119
00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:13,023
Oh! That sounds terrible.

120
00:04:13,154 --> 00:04:14,938
Isaac, please tell me you
have something better planned.

121
00:04:15,069 --> 00:04:18,202
Mine will be a wild,
ribald night of reciting

122
00:04:18,332 --> 00:04:20,204
William Shakespeare's... wait for it...

123
00:04:20,335 --> 00:04:21,510
sonnets.

124
00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:23,033
You two are made for each other.

125
00:04:23,164 --> 00:04:24,556
- Oh, thank you.
- Thank you.

126
00:04:24,687 --> 00:04:26,645
Well, I am excited to attend both.

127
00:04:26,776 --> 00:04:28,212
I already have the
perfect outfit for each.

128
00:04:28,343 --> 00:04:30,867
- It's still not funny.
- Just wait. [CHUCKLES]

129
00:04:30,998 --> 00:04:32,347
ALBERTA: I can't believe I'm here

130
00:04:32,477 --> 00:04:34,436
with the Saul Henry. [CHUCKLING]

131
00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:36,394
[SNORING]

132
00:04:36,525 --> 00:04:38,179
And sleeping Gene.

133
00:04:38,309 --> 00:04:40,311
Well, unfortunately,
uh, Gene didn't order

134
00:04:40,442 --> 00:04:43,140
- any wine for us to smell.
- Child, that's all right.

135
00:04:43,271 --> 00:04:44,402
I'm more of a Sazerac
kind of girl myself.

136
00:04:44,533 --> 00:04:46,752
Best one I ever had was
at Sunny's Sunshine Club.

137
00:04:46,883 --> 00:04:48,972
What? I used to headline Sunny's.

138
00:04:49,103 --> 00:04:50,799
- What?
- Yeah. [LAUGHS]

139
00:04:50,931 --> 00:04:52,802
Say, did you know Tommy Two Times?

140
00:04:52,933 --> 00:04:54,343
He used to work the door back in '23.

141
00:04:54,373 --> 00:04:57,024
Know him? That fool still owed
me five dollars when I died.

142
00:04:57,154 --> 00:04:58,634
Ooh, I get mad just thinking about it.

143
00:04:58,764 --> 00:04:59,983
Well, you know something,

144
00:05:00,114 --> 00:05:01,332
you're kind of cute when you're mad.

145
00:05:01,463 --> 00:05:03,204
- Oh, you think so?
- Mm-hmm.

146
00:05:03,334 --> 00:05:04,683
[CHUCKLES]

147
00:05:04,814 --> 00:05:07,121
Oh! Mm...

148
00:05:07,251 --> 00:05:08,557
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh...

149
00:05:08,687 --> 00:05:09,688
Oh, that's his prostate.

150
00:05:09,819 --> 00:05:11,212
- Oh.
- But don't worry,

151
00:05:11,342 --> 00:05:12,648
we'll have a solid 45
minutes when I get back.

152
00:05:12,778 --> 00:05:13,778
[BOTH CHUCKLING]

153
00:05:13,779 --> 00:05:16,347
Hoo-wee.

154
00:05:16,478 --> 00:05:18,697
NIGEL: [LAUGHS] That was
the best limerick yet.

155
00:05:18,828 --> 00:05:21,352
Oh, Peter, you do amuse me.

156
00:05:21,483 --> 00:05:22,875
This is the worst bachelor
party I've ever been to,

157
00:05:23,006 --> 00:05:24,660
and I was at one where a flaming shot

158
00:05:24,790 --> 00:05:26,531
set the groom's beard on fire.

159
00:05:26,662 --> 00:05:30,274
I once saw the city of
Charleston go up in flames.

160
00:05:33,886 --> 00:05:36,889
Guys, a bachelor party is
supposed to be a depraved affair

161
00:05:37,020 --> 00:05:39,109
full of alcohol, drugs and lap dances.

162
00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:40,893
Lap dances?

163
00:05:41,024 --> 00:05:42,547
TREVOR: A lap dance is

164
00:05:42,678 --> 00:05:44,332
when someone pretending
to be working their way

165
00:05:44,462 --> 00:05:46,334
through college sits on your lap

166
00:05:46,464 --> 00:05:48,727
and grinds their junk
up against your junk.

167
00:05:48,858 --> 00:05:52,122
I think I could give it a try...

168
00:05:52,253 --> 00:05:54,255
Baxter, a little accompaniment?

169
00:05:56,822 --> 00:05:58,085
? ?

170
00:05:58,215 --> 00:05:59,825
Ooh, ooh...

171
00:06:00,783 --> 00:06:02,480
Yes. Oh, my.

172
00:06:02,611 --> 00:06:05,353
- [HUFFING]
- Oh, my.

173
00:06:05,483 --> 00:06:06,483
Oh!

174
00:06:06,571 --> 00:06:07,790
[LAUGHS]

175
00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:11,185
And how do we feel about Nigel
getting grinded on by his ex?

176
00:06:11,315 --> 00:06:13,404
Thor appreciate the artistry,

177
00:06:13,535 --> 00:06:18,061
but feel Isaac might not be so amused.

178
00:06:18,192 --> 00:06:20,411
I'm making my way through university.

179
00:06:20,542 --> 00:06:22,283
NIGEL: Oh, yes, you are.

180
00:06:22,413 --> 00:06:24,328
[GIGGLING]

181
00:06:24,459 --> 00:06:26,853
SAMANTHA: So, has
anyone spoken to Alberta?

182
00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:28,790
She was supposed to hang
out with Saul last night.

183
00:06:28,791 --> 00:06:30,900
Right. The clinger that's
attached to the dentist

184
00:06:31,031 --> 00:06:33,120
in the Maple Suite? So creepy.

185
00:06:33,250 --> 00:06:35,774
All I'll say is, Alberta
missed our morning walk.

186
00:06:35,905 --> 00:06:37,254
Oh! I wonder if they hooked up.

187
00:06:37,385 --> 00:06:39,343
Good morning. [CHUCKLES]

188
00:06:39,474 --> 00:06:42,346
Oh, if you fools are waiting
around for juicy details,

189
00:06:42,477 --> 00:06:43,565
you can forget it,

190
00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:44,914
'cause I am telling you nothing.

191
00:06:45,045 --> 00:06:46,959
No. No, no, no. We would never.

192
00:06:47,090 --> 00:06:48,961
Good. 'Cause what happened
between me and Saul

193
00:06:49,092 --> 00:06:50,224
up in that room is
none of your business.

194
00:06:50,354 --> 00:06:53,879
And I'm talking about
all three times. [LAUGHS]

195
00:06:54,010 --> 00:06:56,491
- [WHOOPS]
- Nice one, Alberta!

196
00:06:56,621 --> 00:06:58,232
They did it, Jay.

197
00:06:58,362 --> 00:07:00,843
Guy comes to the Hudson
Valley, maybe to see some birds.

198
00:07:00,973 --> 00:07:03,672
Instead, he finds himself
an unknowing participant

199
00:07:03,802 --> 00:07:05,413
in an interdimensional threesome.

200
00:07:05,543 --> 00:07:06,849
But I got to admit, though,

201
00:07:06,979 --> 00:07:09,243
as nice as the physical element was,

202
00:07:09,373 --> 00:07:11,854
I actually kind of like Saul.

203
00:07:11,984 --> 00:07:13,334
I'll be sad to see him go.

204
00:07:13,464 --> 00:07:16,424
- Bertie.
- Alberta. She said she's gonna be sad

205
00:07:16,554 --> 00:07:18,208
to see him go. Hey.

206
00:07:18,339 --> 00:07:19,818
Okay, so, checking out.

207
00:07:19,949 --> 00:07:20,950
SAMANTHA: Okay.

208
00:07:21,081 --> 00:07:23,126
- And how was your night?
- Good.

209
00:07:23,257 --> 00:07:25,694
Although there was a rather loud

210
00:07:25,824 --> 00:07:27,652
humming sound in the room.

211
00:07:27,783 --> 00:07:30,220
My bad. [GIGGLES] But also your bad.

212
00:07:30,351 --> 00:07:31,743
[BOTH CHUCKLE]

213
00:07:31,874 --> 00:07:33,832
Oh, I wish you weren't leaving.

214
00:07:33,963 --> 00:07:37,053
Uh... Oh. Oh, wow, Gene.

215
00:07:37,184 --> 00:07:40,665
It says here that you are
actually our 1,000th customer.

216
00:07:40,796 --> 00:07:41,850
Not even close.

217
00:07:41,851 --> 00:07:44,495
And as such, you're
entitled to extend your stay

218
00:07:44,626 --> 00:07:46,149
- by an extra night, free of charge.
- HETTY: Oh.

219
00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:48,195
Wow, tempting, but, um, no, thank you.

220
00:07:48,325 --> 00:07:49,718
I think I have to get back to Philly.

221
00:07:49,847 --> 00:07:51,415
- I'll help you with your bags.
- Great.

222
00:07:51,546 --> 00:07:54,157
- Uh, thanks a lot, folks. Take care.
- Uh-huh.

223
00:07:54,288 --> 00:07:55,941
Ooh! Oh, ooh, ooh...

224
00:07:57,204 --> 00:07:59,119
Ugh, it's painful when
you're dating someone

225
00:07:59,249 --> 00:08:00,859
who's attached to something.

226
00:08:00,990 --> 00:08:02,861
As I know, because of the car ghost.

227
00:08:02,992 --> 00:08:05,951
You know, Jessica.
Who was my girlfriend.

228
00:08:06,082 --> 00:08:07,475
The point is I had a girlfriend.

229
00:08:07,605 --> 00:08:10,217
[SMACKS LIPS] That was
a long walk, Sasappis.

230
00:08:13,263 --> 00:08:15,265
Well, I guess this is goodbye.

231
00:08:15,396 --> 00:08:16,962
I wish we had more time together.

232
00:08:17,093 --> 00:08:18,964
Actually, there is another way.

233
00:08:19,095 --> 00:08:20,618
Now, it's extremely painful,

234
00:08:20,749 --> 00:08:23,143
but if I can focus hard enough,

235
00:08:23,273 --> 00:08:25,884
I can actually sort of jerk my body off

236
00:08:26,015 --> 00:08:27,538
of one host and onto another.

237
00:08:27,669 --> 00:08:28,669
You'd do that for me?

238
00:08:28,757 --> 00:08:30,193
Anything for you.

239
00:08:31,629 --> 00:08:32,804
GENE: Hey, thanks again for everything.

240
00:08:32,934 --> 00:08:35,067
Thank you.

241
00:08:35,198 --> 00:08:37,809
[CHUCKLES] Mean Gene!

242
00:08:37,939 --> 00:08:40,463
? ?

243
00:08:42,073 --> 00:08:44,076
- Oh!
- [GRUNTING]

244
00:08:47,732 --> 00:08:49,691
Come on, now!

245
00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:51,214
[SCREAMS]

246
00:08:52,215 --> 00:08:53,738
That Gene is a nice guy.

247
00:08:53,869 --> 00:08:55,131
- Uh, Jay?
- ALBERTA: Good news, y'all.

248
00:08:55,262 --> 00:08:57,525
Saul jerked himself off onto Jay.

249
00:08:57,655 --> 00:08:58,787
I'm staying.

250
00:08:58,917 --> 00:08:59,918
I mean, the poor
schnook doesn't even know

251
00:09:00,049 --> 00:09:01,485
there's a ghost attached to him.

252
00:09:01,616 --> 00:09:03,574
Saul is now attached to you.

253
00:09:03,705 --> 00:09:05,446
Oh, come on.

254
00:09:05,576 --> 00:09:06,969
Do we shower in the
morning or the night?

255
00:09:07,099 --> 00:09:09,972
You know what? Saul loves a surprise.

256
00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:16,805
I don't know what Thor's talking about.

257
00:09:16,935 --> 00:09:18,372
I rather like your hat.

258
00:09:18,502 --> 00:09:20,330
[CHUCKLES] You little charmer.

259
00:09:20,461 --> 00:09:22,245
Yeah, but I like the
woman underneath even more.

260
00:09:22,376 --> 00:09:23,377
- Oh.
- Mm.

261
00:09:25,379 --> 00:09:26,467
I'm sorry.

262
00:09:26,597 --> 00:09:27,729
Sam.

263
00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:29,470
Do you really need to be here?

264
00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:30,688
It's my room.

265
00:09:30,819 --> 00:09:31,994
What's happening?

266
00:09:32,124 --> 00:09:33,430
What did Saul say?

267
00:09:33,561 --> 00:09:34,997
Oh, I was talking to Alberta.

268
00:09:35,127 --> 00:09:36,259
Alberta's in here, too?

269
00:09:36,390 --> 00:09:37,826
She's not attached to anyone.

270
00:09:37,956 --> 00:09:39,044
I hate this.

271
00:09:39,175 --> 00:09:40,742
She's hanging out with Saul.

272
00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:41,917
It's just...

273
00:09:42,047 --> 00:09:43,310
it's a little hard for me and Saul

274
00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:46,356
to express ourselves
physically with you right there.

275
00:09:46,487 --> 00:09:48,532
Yeah, I mean Jay's one
thing. He needs to be here.

276
00:09:48,663 --> 00:09:50,273
But you, well...

277
00:09:50,404 --> 00:09:51,753
You know, that's just weird.

278
00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:55,757
Uh, okay, I mean, I guess
I could go downstairs

279
00:09:55,887 --> 00:09:58,325
and just maybe catch up on some emails.

280
00:09:58,455 --> 00:10:01,110
Wait, what? Please tell me
you're taking Alberta with you.

281
00:10:01,241 --> 00:10:03,330
I'm taking Alberta with me.

282
00:10:03,460 --> 00:10:04,460
Really?

283
00:10:04,505 --> 00:10:05,897
Jay, what do you want me to say here?

284
00:10:06,028 --> 00:10:07,638
Nope. Mm-mm.

285
00:10:07,769 --> 00:10:09,205
I'm not gonna lie here while two ghosts

286
00:10:09,336 --> 00:10:10,336
canoodle on top of me,

287
00:10:10,424 --> 00:10:11,903
so I'm gonna go make some tea.

288
00:10:12,034 --> 00:10:14,079
You talk to Alberta
and you figure this out.

289
00:10:14,210 --> 00:10:15,298
Let's go, Saul.

290
00:10:15,429 --> 00:10:16,952
He didn't have to say that,

291
00:10:16,982 --> 00:10:18,039
but I appreciate the warning.

292
00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:20,085
I'll see you later.

293
00:10:20,216 --> 00:10:22,523
Okay, when they get
back, you tell Jay I left.

294
00:10:22,653 --> 00:10:25,569
Then, when he falls asleep,
you make yourself scarce.

295
00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:27,528
And don't worry... I'll keep
the humming to a minimum.

296
00:10:27,658 --> 00:10:30,400
Look, I'm excited for you,
but this isn't sustainable.

297
00:10:30,531 --> 00:10:33,403
Sam, it's been a long
time since I've met a ghost

298
00:10:33,534 --> 00:10:34,926
that I'm interested in.

299
00:10:35,057 --> 00:10:37,538
This is a desert, and I'm parched,

300
00:10:37,668 --> 00:10:40,715
and in walks this tall drink of water.

301
00:10:40,845 --> 00:10:42,456
Do you really want to deny me that?

302
00:10:46,503 --> 00:10:48,505
We got to tell Isaac about this, right?

303
00:10:48,636 --> 00:10:49,941
I mean, getting a lap
dance is one thing,

304
00:10:50,072 --> 00:10:51,160
but getting a lap dance from your ex?

305
00:10:51,291 --> 00:10:52,944
I mean, that's just naughty.

306
00:10:53,075 --> 00:10:54,598
Hey, what happens at a bachelor party

307
00:10:54,729 --> 00:10:55,730
stays at a bachelor party.

308
00:10:55,860 --> 00:10:57,079
It's a rule, Pete.

309
00:10:57,209 --> 00:10:58,863
Well, I do love following rules.

310
00:10:58,994 --> 00:10:59,995
- ISAAC: So?
- [ALL EXCLAIM]

311
00:11:00,125 --> 00:11:01,953
How was the bachelor party, hmm?

312
00:11:02,084 --> 00:11:03,825
I trust the limericks

313
00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:07,176
- were sufficiently ribald?
- [LAUGHING]

314
00:11:07,307 --> 00:11:08,525
Nigel got a lap dance from Jenkins!

315
00:11:08,656 --> 00:11:10,092
- Pete!
- Oh, sorry.

316
00:11:11,354 --> 00:11:13,182
Uh, uh, what is a lap dance?

317
00:11:13,313 --> 00:11:14,314
- Well, it's...
- THOR: Lap dance is when

318
00:11:14,444 --> 00:11:16,185
someone working their way through school

319
00:11:16,316 --> 00:11:19,841
grinds their loins against
someone else's loins.

320
00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:21,321
That's pretty good, actually.

321
00:11:21,451 --> 00:11:22,757
Uh-oh.

322
00:11:22,887 --> 00:11:24,454
I hope you boys aren't

323
00:11:24,585 --> 00:11:27,936
recounting any of the racier
limericks from last night.

324
00:11:28,066 --> 00:11:32,201
Because that would be a
real stag don't. [LAUGHS]

325
00:11:32,332 --> 00:11:35,073
What exactly happened last
night between you and Jenkins?

326
00:11:35,204 --> 00:11:36,771
It was all innocent.

327
00:11:36,901 --> 00:11:39,121
Just a bit of stag do fun. In fact,

328
00:11:39,251 --> 00:11:41,471
you should get a lap dance
at your party tonight.

329
00:11:41,602 --> 00:11:44,256
No, thank you. I don't
want Jenkins in my lap.

330
00:11:44,387 --> 00:11:45,562
It doesn't have to be Jenkins.

331
00:11:45,693 --> 00:11:48,870
What if we ask Sam to
get you a real stripper?

332
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,175
Do they make house calls?

333
00:11:50,305 --> 00:11:52,047
Pete, you're adorable.

334
00:11:52,177 --> 00:11:53,831
That's a splendid idea.

335
00:11:53,962 --> 00:11:55,703
Then you can see it was all in good fun.

336
00:11:55,833 --> 00:11:56,834
Oh, hey, Sam,

337
00:11:56,965 --> 00:11:58,227
we need you to hire a stripper

338
00:11:58,358 --> 00:12:00,011
for Isaac's bachelor party tonight.

339
00:12:00,142 --> 00:12:02,231
- Okay.
- Really? That worked?

340
00:12:02,362 --> 00:12:03,406
There's a lot weirder stuff happening.

341
00:12:03,537 --> 00:12:05,234
You caught me on a good week.

342
00:12:07,279 --> 00:12:08,759
[WHISPERING]: Jay.

343
00:12:08,890 --> 00:12:11,327
- Why are you whispering?
- Shh, shh, shh. Saul's asleep.

344
00:12:11,458 --> 00:12:12,633
[WHISPERING]: Is it 'cause
they were doing it all night?

345
00:12:12,763 --> 00:12:14,069
Probably.

346
00:12:14,199 --> 00:12:15,810
I can't live like this, Sam.

347
00:12:15,940 --> 00:12:17,986
The thing is, Alberta's
been in a desert.

348
00:12:18,116 --> 00:12:19,727
What? What does that mean?

349
00:12:19,857 --> 00:12:21,816
I just think we need to
consider her feelings here.

350
00:12:21,946 --> 00:12:23,208
What about my feelings?

351
00:12:23,339 --> 00:12:25,210
I'm a person, too, Sam.

352
00:12:25,341 --> 00:12:27,212
What if we just gave
her, like, another month?

353
00:12:27,343 --> 00:12:28,910
Are you out of your mind?

354
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,999
This is nuts, Sam.

355
00:12:31,129 --> 00:12:32,435
Don't raise your voice at me.

356
00:12:32,566 --> 00:12:34,568
I can't raise my
voice, that's the point.

357
00:12:34,698 --> 00:12:36,265
I should be the priority.

358
00:12:36,396 --> 00:12:38,093
I understand Alberta's
situation, but I got a guy

359
00:12:38,223 --> 00:12:39,616
following me into the shower.

360
00:12:39,747 --> 00:12:42,097
- Shh...
- Into the bathroom.

361
00:12:42,227 --> 00:12:45,100
It's deeply, deeply weird.

362
00:12:45,230 --> 00:12:47,145
Okay, fine, it is weird.

363
00:12:47,276 --> 00:12:49,060
It's not fair to you.

364
00:12:49,191 --> 00:12:50,497
I think we should just insist

365
00:12:50,627 --> 00:12:51,976
that Saul jerks off onto someone else.

366
00:12:52,107 --> 00:12:53,107
What?

367
00:12:53,108 --> 00:12:55,196
That's what they call it when
they move to another host.

368
00:12:55,197 --> 00:12:58,243
Why not just say that?

369
00:12:59,854 --> 00:13:02,073
[AUSTRALIAN ACCENT]: So, you want
me to dance for this empty chair?

370
00:13:02,204 --> 00:13:03,553
Yeah, but if you could pretend

371
00:13:03,684 --> 00:13:05,425
- that there's somebody in it?
- Right.

372
00:13:05,455 --> 00:13:06,681
- See, the thing is...
- You don't have to explain.

373
00:13:06,682 --> 00:13:07,782
That's what the money's for.

374
00:13:07,783 --> 00:13:09,003
- [CLICKS TONGUE]
- [CHUCKLES]

375
00:13:09,004 --> 00:13:11,126
Hey, don't "tee-hee" at him.

376
00:13:11,156 --> 00:13:12,169
That's Isaac's stripper.

377
00:13:12,170 --> 00:13:13,607
It's fine.

378
00:13:13,737 --> 00:13:17,045
This is all rather silly,
to be honest. [LAUGHS]

379
00:13:17,175 --> 00:13:18,916
["CANDY SHOP" BY 50 CENT PLAYING]

380
00:13:23,007 --> 00:13:24,052
? Yeah ?

381
00:13:25,575 --> 00:13:26,620
? Uh-huh ?

382
00:13:28,056 --> 00:13:30,362
? So seductive ?

383
00:13:30,493 --> 00:13:32,713
? I take you to the candy shop ?

384
00:13:32,843 --> 00:13:34,062
? I let you lick the lollipop... ?

385
00:13:34,192 --> 00:13:35,367
This supposed to be some sort of

386
00:13:35,498 --> 00:13:37,631
peak male specimen? [CHUCKLES]

387
00:13:37,761 --> 00:13:39,633
I mean, he's okay, but...

388
00:13:39,763 --> 00:13:40,982
Oh, my gods.

389
00:13:43,071 --> 00:13:44,594
What are all of those?

390
00:13:44,725 --> 00:13:46,291
I had those the summer I caught mono.

391
00:13:46,422 --> 00:13:48,250
Oh, if only I could have died then.

392
00:13:48,380 --> 00:13:50,165
That is a cute stuffie.

393
00:13:50,295 --> 00:13:53,255
Oh, uh, yeah, some kid
left their T. Rex here.

394
00:13:53,385 --> 00:13:55,605
Actually, that's not a T.
Rex. That's a Dilophosaurus.

395
00:13:55,736 --> 00:13:58,129
- Uh, a what?
- A Dilophosaurus.

396
00:13:58,260 --> 00:14:00,131
It was a fast-moving
carnivore that roamed

397
00:14:00,262 --> 00:14:01,350
during the early Jurassic period.

398
00:14:01,481 --> 00:14:03,787
He knows about dinosaurs?

399
00:14:03,918 --> 00:14:05,615
It's like that movie Weird Science.

400
00:14:05,746 --> 00:14:08,052
This guy was made in a lab for Isaac.

401
00:14:08,183 --> 00:14:10,185
Um, Samantha, could you ask him

402
00:14:10,315 --> 00:14:12,100
to roar like a Dilophosaurus?

403
00:14:13,362 --> 00:14:14,972
It's my party, and I'm the bachelor.

404
00:14:15,103 --> 00:14:18,454
Would you maybe roar
like a Dilophosaurus?

405
00:14:18,585 --> 00:14:19,586
Actually, uh...

406
00:14:21,326 --> 00:14:23,590
... we don't really know
if Dilophosauruses roared.

407
00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:25,896
Some scientists say it was
more like a series of clicks,

408
00:14:26,027 --> 00:14:29,117
like... [CLICKING TONGUE]

409
00:14:29,247 --> 00:14:30,771
? Not in your hand, ha-ha ?
? I take you to the candy shop ?

410
00:14:30,901 --> 00:14:33,817
? I let you lick the lollipop... ?

411
00:14:33,948 --> 00:14:36,733
- [CONTINUES CLICKING]
- I love lap dances!

412
00:14:36,864 --> 00:14:38,387
? Keep goin' until you hit the spot. ?

413
00:14:38,618 --> 00:14:40,737
SAMANTHA: You've traveled
a lot of places with Gene.

414
00:14:40,868 --> 00:14:42,173
What was your favorite?

415
00:14:42,304 --> 00:14:44,436
I guess I'd have to say Italy.

416
00:14:44,567 --> 00:14:46,743
Yeah, there was this small little town

417
00:14:46,874 --> 00:14:48,876
in the mountains, right
outside of Positano,

418
00:14:49,006 --> 00:14:51,705
with this restaurant
with a little old nonna

419
00:14:51,835 --> 00:14:54,359
who would hand-roll pasta every morning.

420
00:14:54,490 --> 00:14:56,666
The smells were incredible.

421
00:14:56,797 --> 00:14:58,589
What if I told you Jay could take you

422
00:14:58,620 --> 00:14:59,669
to that little Italian town,

423
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:01,453
and you could jerk off onto that nonna?

424
00:15:01,584 --> 00:15:03,368
Just 'cause they say it
doesn't mean we have to.

425
00:15:03,499 --> 00:15:06,763
Oh, there you are. [CHUCKLES]

426
00:15:06,894 --> 00:15:07,894
What's going on?

427
00:15:07,895 --> 00:15:09,853
- Alberta's here.
- Aw...

428
00:15:09,984 --> 00:15:11,420
Your Livings here are
trying to tear us apart

429
00:15:11,551 --> 00:15:13,596
by bribing me to move to Italy.

430
00:15:13,727 --> 00:15:15,946
What the hell, Sam? I can't believe you.

431
00:15:16,077 --> 00:15:18,253
I get that my relationship
is an inconvenience for you,

432
00:15:18,383 --> 00:15:19,689
but that does not give you the right

433
00:15:19,820 --> 00:15:22,605
to sabotage me and Saul,
you selfish, selfish woman.

434
00:15:22,736 --> 00:15:23,736
Alberta, I didn't mean to...

435
00:15:23,780 --> 00:15:25,913
Ah-ah-ah! I don't want to hear it.

436
00:15:26,043 --> 00:15:27,697
Come on, Saul.

437
00:15:35,444 --> 00:15:37,620
Can you tell Jay to leave, too?

438
00:15:37,751 --> 00:15:38,751
I'd like Saul to storm out with me.

439
00:15:44,932 --> 00:15:45,932
I'm so sorry about Sam and Jay.

440
00:15:46,020 --> 00:15:47,021
I can't believe they
would do that to us.

441
00:15:47,151 --> 00:15:48,370
Yeah, I hear you.

442
00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:50,154
I can't even stand to
be around Jay right now,

443
00:15:50,285 --> 00:15:51,895
but, you know.

444
00:15:52,026 --> 00:15:54,332
I mean, they don't know.
This could be something real.

445
00:15:54,463 --> 00:15:57,205
Could be? Why, this is something real.

446
00:15:57,335 --> 00:15:58,859
Oh... [CHUCKLES]

447
00:15:58,989 --> 00:16:01,731
Nothing's gonna drive me
away from you, sugarplum.

448
00:16:01,862 --> 00:16:03,646
Oh, I didn't know we were
doing pet names so soon,

449
00:16:03,777 --> 00:16:05,300
but okay.

450
00:16:05,430 --> 00:16:06,910
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

451
00:16:07,041 --> 00:16:09,478
I mean it. You don't have to worry now.

452
00:16:09,609 --> 00:16:13,308
- I'm gonna be with you forever.
- Ah!

453
00:16:13,438 --> 00:16:16,790
Forever. That's a long
time, especially compared to

454
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:18,400
the two days that
we've known each other.

455
00:16:18,530 --> 00:16:20,968
Even when Jay gets old and dies,

456
00:16:21,098 --> 00:16:23,623
I'll simply jerk myself
off onto someone else.

457
00:16:23,753 --> 00:16:25,320
And then the next guy

458
00:16:25,450 --> 00:16:26,930
and the next guy and the next...

459
00:16:27,061 --> 00:16:30,368
[MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]

460
00:16:30,499 --> 00:16:33,502
... and the next guy for
a thousand generations.

461
00:16:33,633 --> 00:16:35,765
Just so I can stay with you.

462
00:16:35,896 --> 00:16:37,593
But isn't it painful
for you when you do that?

463
00:16:37,724 --> 00:16:39,551
Well, nothing compares to the pain

464
00:16:39,682 --> 00:16:42,250
of being away from my cuddle muffin.

465
00:16:42,380 --> 00:16:44,165
Ha, another nickname!

466
00:16:44,295 --> 00:16:48,169
[LAUGHS] They coming
fast and furious now.

467
00:16:49,170 --> 00:16:50,562
Oh, my God.

468
00:16:50,693 --> 00:16:53,870
So, don't keep me on tenterhooks.

469
00:16:54,001 --> 00:16:57,352
Do you see now that lap
dances are all innocent fun?

470
00:16:57,482 --> 00:17:01,399
Yes. Absolutely. Meant nothing.

471
00:17:01,530 --> 00:17:03,706
See, that's the thing about you and me.

472
00:17:03,836 --> 00:17:06,403
When you have the solid foundation,

473
00:17:06,535 --> 00:17:10,017
where two people understand
each other so well...

474
00:17:10,147 --> 00:17:12,410
You want to talk about
a real solid foundation?

475
00:17:12,541 --> 00:17:17,806
Each leg of a Brachiosaurus
weighs over 10,000 pounds.

476
00:17:17,938 --> 00:17:19,940
NIGEL: Trust and respect.

477
00:17:20,070 --> 00:17:22,159
These are the hallmarks
of a good relationship.

478
00:17:22,290 --> 00:17:23,944
Yeah. Which makes me even more certain

479
00:17:24,074 --> 00:17:26,381
than I was before about
our upcoming nuptials.

480
00:17:26,511 --> 00:17:29,340
Because you and I, we just click.

481
00:17:29,471 --> 00:17:31,081
[CLICKING TONGUE]

482
00:17:31,212 --> 00:17:32,474
? Yeah ?

483
00:17:33,867 --> 00:17:35,303
? Uh-huh. ?

484
00:17:35,433 --> 00:17:37,740
I love clicking.

485
00:17:38,785 --> 00:17:40,482
Interesting way to put it.

486
00:17:41,875 --> 00:17:43,790
Sam, I think we need to talk.

487
00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:45,879
I couldn't agree more.
I owe you an apology.

488
00:17:46,009 --> 00:17:47,009
Jay and I should not have gone

489
00:17:47,010 --> 00:17:48,446
behind your back to talk to Saul.

490
00:17:48,577 --> 00:17:50,144
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

491
00:17:50,274 --> 00:17:52,015
- [WHISPERING]: That clinger's got to go, Sam.
- What?

492
00:17:52,146 --> 00:17:54,801
The tide has turned.
The clinger is clingy.

493
00:17:54,931 --> 00:17:56,019
And no one could have seen it coming.

494
00:17:56,150 --> 00:17:57,934
I thought you two were
really getting along.

495
00:17:58,065 --> 00:18:00,415
Well, you know how I
said that I was parched?

496
00:18:00,545 --> 00:18:01,633
But then I had some water

497
00:18:01,764 --> 00:18:02,983
and then I had some more.

498
00:18:03,113 --> 00:18:04,636
And now my thirst is quenched,

499
00:18:04,767 --> 00:18:06,421
- but the water is still here.
- [DOOR OPENS]

500
00:18:06,551 --> 00:18:07,552
And it's too much water.
What I'm saying is,

501
00:18:07,683 --> 00:18:09,293
- I'm drowning, Sam.
- [DOOR CLOSES]

502
00:18:09,424 --> 00:18:10,730
JAY: Hey, babe.

503
00:18:10,860 --> 00:18:13,080
I just got back from the library.

504
00:18:13,210 --> 00:18:14,234
- The library?
- Yeah.

505
00:18:14,235 --> 00:18:16,648
I'm trying to do things an
interesting person would do.

506
00:18:16,779 --> 00:18:18,607
I don't know, I'm
feeling a lot of pressure.

507
00:18:18,738 --> 00:18:19,956
Saul, I think we need to talk.

508
00:18:20,087 --> 00:18:21,741
I-I will leave you two alone.

509
00:18:21,871 --> 00:18:23,133
- I'm coming with you.
- No. Jay,

510
00:18:23,264 --> 00:18:24,482
you need to stay.

511
00:18:24,613 --> 00:18:25,614
Alberta needs to talk to Saul.

512
00:18:25,745 --> 00:18:28,573
- About what?
- Jay!

513
00:18:28,704 --> 00:18:32,926
So, what is it, my little
slice of angel food cake?

514
00:18:33,056 --> 00:18:36,146
Off of that... Saul, I've dated my share

515
00:18:36,277 --> 00:18:39,193
of dishonest men, so I want
to be straight with you.

516
00:18:39,323 --> 00:18:41,804
- This ain't working out for me.
- I see.

517
00:18:41,935 --> 00:18:44,546
Aw, damn it. Hey, Sam, I-I
left my phone in the car.

518
00:18:44,676 --> 00:18:45,765
Sam!

519
00:18:45,895 --> 00:18:48,593
Honey, I'm glad you
walked through that door

520
00:18:48,724 --> 00:18:51,248
and grateful for the
time we had together.

521
00:18:51,379 --> 00:18:54,774
It's just, um, how do I put this? Uh...

522
00:18:54,904 --> 00:18:56,688
You think I'm clingy, don't you?

523
00:18:56,819 --> 00:18:57,907
That's exactly right. Well said.

524
00:18:58,038 --> 00:19:00,692
Damn it, Saul, you done done it again!

525
00:19:00,823 --> 00:19:03,652
You know, some ghosts
theorize that us clingers

526
00:19:03,783 --> 00:19:04,784
are doomed to this existence

527
00:19:04,914 --> 00:19:06,655
because we get too, um... attached.

528
00:19:06,786 --> 00:19:08,135
[BOTH LAUGH]

529
00:19:08,265 --> 00:19:10,354
Can I get a magazine?

530
00:19:10,485 --> 00:19:12,313
A-are they done talking?

531
00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:13,705
But I totally get it, Alberta,

532
00:19:13,836 --> 00:19:15,098
and I appreciate your honesty.

533
00:19:15,229 --> 00:19:17,318
I just wish I had known
before I left Gene.

534
00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:19,494
I mean, that man took me to see
the northern lights last year,

535
00:19:19,624 --> 00:19:23,150
and Jay's taken me to Sonic
three times this weekend.

536
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:25,369
Oh, well, this is where
having a Living you can talk to

537
00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:27,676
comes in handy.

538
00:19:27,807 --> 00:19:30,635
GENE: You-you came all the way
to Philly to give me an umbrella?

539
00:19:30,766 --> 00:19:32,899
- I don't even think this is mine.
- Are you a hugger?

540
00:19:33,029 --> 00:19:34,117
I mean, I'm not owed
because of the umbrella,

541
00:19:34,248 --> 00:19:36,032
but it would be a nice gesture.

542
00:19:36,163 --> 00:19:37,163
Oh, you don't have to do that.

543
00:19:37,207 --> 00:19:38,469
I'm already back on Gene now.

544
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:39,600
Come on, buddy.

545
00:19:39,688 --> 00:19:41,603
- I don't... I...
- Come on.

546
00:19:41,733 --> 00:19:44,040
Oh, ho-ho-ho-ho.

547
00:19:44,171 --> 00:19:46,303
Now, that is a clinger.

548
00:19:46,434 --> 00:19:50,655
Ooh, I'm not really sure how
long I'm supposed to stay here.

549
00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:57,706
Alone at last. Wait,
we are alone, aren't we?

550
00:19:57,837 --> 00:20:00,317
- Saul's definitely gone, right?
- Yes, Jay.

551
00:20:00,448 --> 00:20:03,016
You know, this whole thing
with Saul and Alberta,

552
00:20:03,146 --> 00:20:04,626
it's just made me
realize how lucky we are

553
00:20:04,756 --> 00:20:05,888
to have found each other.

554
00:20:06,019 --> 00:20:07,934
Hmm, we are really lucky.

555
00:20:08,064 --> 00:20:10,588
And it's pretty nice to have
our bedroom back to ourselves.

556
00:20:10,719 --> 00:20:13,504
Okay. Hint received.

557
00:20:13,635 --> 00:20:15,332
Should I put on the sexy playlist?

558
00:20:15,463 --> 00:20:18,466
Oh, actually, I have something.

559
00:20:18,496 --> 00:20:19,553
["CANDY SHOP" BY 50 CENT PLAYING]

560
00:20:19,554 --> 00:20:21,121
- Oh.
- ? Yeah ?

561
00:20:21,251 --> 00:20:23,036
- Oh.
- Hey.

562
00:20:23,166 --> 00:20:24,559
Wocka, wocka.

563
00:20:24,689 --> 00:20:26,126
- Wow, you like that?
- I do.

564
00:20:26,256 --> 00:20:27,736
[LAUGHS]

565
00:20:27,867 --> 00:20:30,043
Hey, what's that funny
thing sometimes you say

566
00:20:30,173 --> 00:20:31,522
from Crocodile Dundee?

567
00:20:31,653 --> 00:20:32,872
[AUSSIE ACCENT]: That's not a knife.

568
00:20:33,002 --> 00:20:34,438
This is a knife.

569
00:20:34,569 --> 00:20:35,918
Oh, crikey.

570
00:20:36,049 --> 00:20:37,224
Really?

571
00:20:37,354 --> 00:20:39,356
? I'll take you to the candy shop ?

572
00:20:39,487 --> 00:20:42,055
- ? Want one taste of what I got? ?
- ? Uh-huh. ?

573
00:20:42,105 --> 00:20:46,655
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